With Police Murder And Riots America Goes To The Beach

Written by Keith Shirey

Friday, 29 May 2020

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Happy to be back at the beach

Americans were relieved and even overjoyed this week as things finally began to get back to normal. Not only were hugely crowded beaches and urine-salted public swimming pools a sight for sore eyes, people felt a sense of normalcy seeing an increase in police brutality, murder and rioting on television.

Despite new outbreaks of COVID-19 in California, Virginia, North Carolina, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Alabama, Mississippi, and South Carolina, revelers crowded cafes, bars, retail stores, lakes, ocean fronts, and hiking trails, depending on what governors and mayors allowed to be available to the public. Of course, many people didn’t heed what these officials said.

Exclaimed Mavis Durfee of Bakersfield, California, “I’ve been cooped-up too long with only TV to take up my time, since Earl left me. It’s such a relief to be able to get drunk at the local bar with friends and good-looking strangers."

Harold Lloyd of Chicken Coop, North Carolina, said, "All I want is my freedom and liberty. I'll take my chances against getting the virus, even though two of my cousins came down with it. Wish me luck and God Bless America."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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