MILWAUKEE – Physicians at Milwaukee’s prestigious Hops Hospital have performed what is believed to be the nation’s first successful uvula transplant.
Dr. Lysander Cottoncastle, said that he and his team of experts removed an extra uvula from Dottie Swillowitz, and transplanted it into her twin sister Lottie, Swillowitz, while Lottie was awake, and watching a rerun of the 1960s television doctor show, “Dr. Kildare”.
The entire operation took about seven minutes and ten seconds, and Lottie was able to walk out of the hospital with the help of two doctors, three nurses, and a 97-year-old patient who was recovering from a testicle transplant.
When a nurse asked Lottie how she felt, she replied that she felt as happy as a gopher in soft dirt.
She was then asked if she had any side effects. She blushed, and said that, for some reason, she is now sexually attracted to her sister’s husband.