Local woman wins Word Falling Over Championship for record 12th year in succession

Funny story written by Clive Danton

Tuesday, 21 January 2020

image for Local woman wins Word Falling Over Championship for record 12th year in succession
A jubilant Mrs Dell pictured last night

A 21-year-old woman from Whitechapel has become the first woman to win the much sought-after, World Falling Over Championship, for a record 12th year in succession

Tracy Dell, a business owner and mother-of-three, managed to fall over almost continuously for an astonishing 6 hours and 32 minutes, beating her closest rival by almost 2 hours.

Tracy's previous best came when she fell over for 5 hours 57 minutes in the Beijing championships of 2014, although she claims to have fallen over for a staggering 27 hours, without pausing to eat sleep, drink, or go to the toilet, while at home in 2004.

Speaking from her hospital bedside in St George's Hospital For The Perpetually Unsteady, Tracy told newsmen: "This latest bout of falling is, without doubt, my greatest professional achievement in tournament falling, although I've fallen over for much longer in training.

"Next year, I hope to fall over continuously at the Rio games, and maybe even go for a new record."

Mrs Dell's husband, Toby, was less enthusiastic when he spoke to reporters from outside their home: "It's all very well her winning the championship year in, year out, but it's costing me a fortune in painkillers and bandages. Also, she never offers to give me a few quid towards the petrol I use on the hospital visits."

FACT CHECK: It is estimated that, somewhere in the world, a woman is falling over every 0.75 seconds, unaided by blindness or excessive alcohol.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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