Florida Reopens Hurricane Beach

Funny story written by Mister Meaner

Monday, 27 April 2020

image for Florida Reopens Hurricane Beach
A beach with people on it

There was great excitement of the US right coast this morning, when it was announced that the Florida Beach Authority - the FBA - have decided that Hurricane Beach was to reopen next week.

The beach has been closed to bathers, joggers, and those that just want to take their dogs for a shit, for over a month now, and the hot dog vendors are growing restless.

One said that:

"My sales have dropped by a massive 94%."

Nobody really cares about that, however.

All people care about is what the random, stupidly-named residents had to say.

One, devout church-goer, Tinker Belle Fernsehapparat, 91, said:

"What the eff?"

This was the second time since last Friday that Elsie had uttered this phrase, after one of the local hot dog vendors, Billy "Be-Bop" Bailey, had offered her some cut-price sausage.

Tinker Belle only lives 98 yards from the beach, and remarked that, during the lockdown, that that 98 yards has seemed like only 90 yards, the reason for that being that there have been no tourists between her and that beach.

That's enough of that.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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