Social distancing and all the paraphernalia that goes with it are causing those with split personality conditions a headache - or two.
"It ain't easy," said Brad Park, currently being treated for schizophrenia. "I wear a facemask when I speak to me, but I'd love to know why he don't. This facemask is coming between us. Weird, man! I mean, am I hallucinating or something!? This Covid thing drives you crazy!"
Delusional disorders are more widespread than many believe, including those real psychotic disorders prevalent in the White House. Such symptoms involve inappropriate action and feelings, a sense of mental fragmentation and, clearly seen in the Donald, abnormal thinking and a tendency to lose touch with reality.
"The spread is worrying," explained Dr. Thumb of Washington Medical Center. "With the Covid thing, we're neglecting mental issues. The President told me he talks daily to his alter ego in Tallahassee who's big in derivatives. It's kinda scary, " said the neurologist. "I mean, what would foreign journalists think if they knew, especially from Mexico?"
Meanwhile, Brad Park is receiving state-of-the-art medication. The sole effect up to now is that he's given up smoking. "Maybe my facemask is putting me off," he said. "I'm gonna try a different color. Since social distancing came in, I'm kinda drifting apart from myself. I don't want to lose contact completely. That would be sad. And video-conferencing is not really an option."