WASHINGTON D.C. – President Trump says that he has finally found out how the Coronavirus got to the United States' shores.
POTUS said that Rudy Giuliani spoke with a member of the Chinese Department of Food, and it appears that the virus was brought to America by a Mr. Changyang Dingming, Jr., of Shanghai, China.
Mr. Dingming has worked as a checker at Shanghai’s Fire-Spewing Dragon Supermarket for 14 years.
Giuliani said that he had to pay $7,000 for the information, but added that Trump’s Republican base is perfectly fine with that expense. He pointed out that the money will simply come out of the Dentures for Senior Citizens Fund.
The FBI has put out an ‘All Points Bulletin’ for Dingming, and they hope to apprehend him within the next few days, three weeks tops.
They added that he should be very easy to spot, because he has a big tattoo of an egg roll on his forehead, and he is constantly singing songs by Engelbert Humperdinck and Reba McEntire.
IN CLOSING – President Trump said about Dingming, “I promise all of the men, women, children, and babies of America that the Chinese checker will soon be caught, put in prison, and executed without a trial.”