LAS VEGAS – The Vox Populi News Agency has reported that the Democratic candidates pretty much turned the debate into a free-for-all.
In fact, several audience members sitting in the front row had to duck a couple of folding chairs that were tossed by Elizabeth “Sacajawea” Warren.
The first chair was meant for Mike “Money Pockets” Bloomberg, after he asked her if she had combed her hair with firecrackers.
Warren tossed the second chair toward Amy “The Minnesota Mama” Klobuchar, who had commented that Warren’s earlobes were so huge, they looked like Vanilla Wafers.
Joe “Blue Collar” Biden turned to Bernie “The Stud” Sanders, and whispered that Pete “Rainbow Britches” Buttigieg and Klobuchar both had 5 o’clock shadow.
Amy Klobuchar heard him, and said that Lizzy (Warren) had a bigger crotch bulge than the both of them.
Biden laughed so hard he ended up spitting out a piece of broccoli that landed on Bernie’s nose. “Hey, Joe, you Delaware dufus," Sanders yelled, "didn’t anyone ever tell you that you’re supposed to swallow your food, you backwoods hick?”
The former vice-president grabbed his crotch, and replied, "Hey, you old mountain goat, I got your hick right here.”
Warren covered her ears, and yelled out that she was going to hire famed attorney Gloria Allred, and sue the pants out of the both of them for sexual harrassment.
Bloomberg then asked her, “Hey, sweetie, shouldn’t you be back in the kitchen baking something?”
After the smoke had cleared, Klobuchar ended up with a bruised ego, Bernie’s comb-over looked like a big white eagle’s nest, Biden had broccoli and mushrooms all over his pants crotch, and “Sacajawea” reported that she had suffered an inverted nipple.
IN CLOSING – Towards the end of the debate, security guards had to escort the six candidates off the stage for fear that they would hurt the moderators and/or the audience.