Time Gets Totally Wasted - Again

Funny story written by Chrissy Benson

Thursday, 10 October 2019

image for Time Gets Totally Wasted - Again
Time can't remember much about getting wasted except that he was totally flying.

Despite his best efforts to make better use of himself, Time ended up getting totally wasted - again.

"I guess some stuff happened, but I have no clue what," said Time. "I was flying, is about all I can remember. And the seconds got a little sloppy. Honestly, I'm pretty spent."

According to Time, getting wasted is something that tends to happen more often than he'd like to admit. "At this point, I've kind of lost track," he said. "Is that bad?"

No stranger to self-examination, Time stated that he does plan to reflect on the significance, if any, of the frequency of appearance of his charismatic but riotously oblivious alter-ego, Wasted Time. "I never used to think it was an issue, but lately I've really been dragging."

For this reason, Time has vowed to manage himself better. "I don't want to end up just getting killed," he said. "Life's too short."

As to whether his efforts to get wasted less often or, ideally, not at all, will ultimately prove successful, Time noted that one never knows what the future may hold. Nevertheless, he pledged to value himself highly enough not to merely let himself waste away. In addition, he vowed to remain fully transparent regarding his efforts at self-improvement, regardless of outcome.

"I'm committed to healing all my wounds," said Time. "And no secrets - whatever happens, I will tell."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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