Nashville Man Prefers Waiting for Low-Hanging Fruit to Fall to Ground

Written by Chrissy Benson

Monday, 4 November 2019

image for Nashville Man Prefers Waiting for Low-Hanging Fruit to Fall to Ground
Leon Mills has had enough of straining to reach low-hanging fruit that may not yet be ripe.

A big proponent of energy conservation, Leon Mills of Nashville, Tennessee, prefers not to pick low-hanging fruit but instead to wait for it to fall to the ground.

"It's riper that way, too," said Mills, who noted that biting into a less-than-ripe peach is like gnawing on a raw potato. "And no straining needed. Just bend down and scoop 'em up."

Mills went on to explain that while he's done his share of chasing good times and fast women, now, at the age of 76, he's ready to slow down and enjoy the fruits of his "softer" labor.

"I'm not chasing anything anymore," he said. "Except some apples here and there. And fortunately they never fall far from the tree."

Mills went on to opine that efficiency-focused people really ought to shift their focus from the lower branches of trees to the next level: the earth itself.

"No sweat off my back, though," he said. "More for me if they ignore what's right in front of them."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics



Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more