Harry Maguire Has A Day Off

Written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 13 September 2019

image for Harry Maguire Has A Day Off
Maguire cutting his grass earlier

Harry Maguire, the Manchester United central defender who cost the club £80million in a summer transfer from Leicester City, has been taking it easy at home, having a day off before facing his former Foxes teammates at Old Trafford in the Premier League's big game tomorrow (kick-off 3pm).

Maguire, 26, rose around 8 o'clock this morning, and had a bowl of Frosties with milk, followed by a nice slice of toast with summer fruits jam, and a cup of Yorkshire tea. Not having to go into training, he lounged around in his pyjamas until mid-morning, before going out into the garden to sit in the sunshine.

Maguire read about twenty pages of Fifty Shades Of Grey, before deciding to cut his lawn. Then his girlfriend, Fern Hawkins, called him in to ask him what he wanted for lunch. He said he'd just have a ham sandwich, some Bacon Frazzles, and another brew.

The latest we have, is that Maguire is intending to ring his old friend Jamie Vardy to wish him the best of luck for tomorrow's game, and then pay a visit to Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, in order to punch his lights out.

He'll probably be in bed by about 10 o'clock.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics



Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more