Millennial Worries that Being Dead Might Be Even More Boring than Being Alive

Funny story written by Chrissy Benson

Tuesday, 20 August 2019

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Millennial software designer Curt Framingham went outside once and found the graphics unimpressive. "I could do better."

Curt Framingham, a 26-year-old software designer living in Atlanta, Georgia, isn't particularly impressed with what life's had to offer him thus far but is concerned that being dead might be even more boring.

"Honestly, I'd say consciousness is overrated," he said. "But it may beat unconsciousness. At least of the permanent variety."

Framingham noted that it is well documented that, on balance, there is a lot more suffering in life than there is pleasure. "That's the whole concept behind Buddhism," he said. "So that point is really undebatable."

Framingham dismissed, too, suggestions that spending time in nature is what restores the spirit. "What spirit? And besides, I went outside once. The graphics weren't that great."

"I could do better," he added.

Framingham said that, nevertheless, he does not plan to end his own life intentionally. "My biology is still pulling me toward continued existence, if not happiness," he said. "Besides, the world needs me. My generation's the future's only hope."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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