F**K Off Tommy Robinson

Funny story written by Backandtotheleft

Tuesday, 26 February 2019

Facebook has banned swivel-eyed lunatic, Tommy Robinson, page after official sources said:

"The page breached our official guidelines on hate speech."

Which is a polite way of saying “we’re all well sick of seeing our grandparents sharing his fucking statues”, something I’m sure we can all sympathize with. Carl Tunbridge of Facebook International said:

"The guy's a bell-end. Officially, were saying we didn’t take the decision lightly, but trust me…we were all in agreement with this one. Unlike Zuckerbergs “Topless Tuesdays”."

He took a long drag off our cigarette before continuing:

"That Tommy Robinson page was so tiresome. If Tommy had run out of milk in the morning, he would be on there shouting about how the Crusaders hadn’t done enough. The guys clearly unstable. He hits three red lights on the way to work, and it’s the “devious plan of a Muslim paedophile gang”, his favorite character is killed off on Game of Thrones, and he’s posting about how “Mosque-based grooming gangs from Rotherham are patrolling Hollywood studios cutting any storylines that aren’t Islamic”. The guys a real….twat, I think the word is."

We agreed. Although we quite liked the idea of blaming completely random events for causing things we don’t like. Perhaps next time we don’t have a rent cheque we’ll blame “a brigade of rampaging weasels with a leftist socialist agenda”. Sounds like a sound plan.

We wouldn’t be doing our jobs properly if we didn’t get the other side’s view point. John Brexit of The Brexit Means Brexit And Anything Else Is Just Treasonous To The Crown Group, said:

"Sorry we’ve gone over our word limit."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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