Temperatures Encouragingly Dip Below Freezing in Antarctica

Funny story written by Chrissy Benson

Wednesday, 24 July 2019

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Contrary to what you might be hearing about global warming, it's still pretty nippy in Antarctica.

In what many consider the most encouraging climate news of the decade, it's been reported that nighttime temperatures in Antarctica dipped below freezing on at least two occasions in June of 2019.

"Clearly our efforts to reduce greenhouse gas emissions are having an impact," said Dr. Michael Feinstein of the Earth Energy Resource Foundation. "We're already seeing the positive impact of switching to renewable energy sources like clean coal."

Dr. Feinstein acknowledged that, at present, global carbon emissions are actually continuing to increase, not decrease, despite growing public concern about the ever-hotter planet. "But these new data from Antarctica show that carbon emissions aren't everything," he said. "There are other factors at play here, more than we can ever possibly know about. As they say, God works in mysterious ways."

Want to find out exactly what your carbon footprint looks like? You can have a specialty plaster imprint made at www.exxoncoalcarbonfootprints.web - with a variety of color options available.

"There's no reason people shouldn't be able to have fun with this," said Dr. Feinstein. "This personalized plaster footprint offers a way for people to learn more about renewable energy sources like clean coal and help the economy at the same time. It's a win-win all around."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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