New York Woman Ostracized for Not Liking Puppy Videos

Written by Chrissy Benson

Friday, 12 July 2019

image for New York Woman Ostracized for Not Liking Puppy Videos
Alarmed by her lack of interest in adorable puppy videos, coworkers of Lisa Hayes are keeping their distance.

"I'm really more of a cat person," said Lisa Hayes, ineffectually attempting to justify her lack of appreciation for the latest adorable YouTube puppy video being circulated around the office. "Besides, doesn't anyone else have any work to do?"

Hayes's flimsy excuses held no truck with her coworkers, however.

"To each his own, I guess," said Hayes's longtime colleague, Ken Thornton. "But it's pretty weird."

Office manager Charlie Foxwell, the one to initiate the most recent round of video-watching after discovering a riveting three-minute clip of a month-old golden retriever wrestling with a stick, agreed. "The one thing psychopaths all have in common is torturing animals as a young kid," he said. "I'm not saying Lisa is doing that, of course, but her lack of interest in this freaking adorable puppy video is a little alarming."

He added that he plans to keep his distance from Hayes for the time being. "Why take chances?"

Hayes herself says that she is comfortable with the ostracism, claiming that she's used to it.

"I'm a vegan. It confuses people that I'm not interested in sitting around all day watching silly puppy videos, but I'm not into eating dead tortured animal flesh," she said. "It's a mind-fuck for them, which I get. Honestly, they're just not that smart. It's not their fault."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics



Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more