Landmark Wisconsin Court Decision Disappointingly About an Actual Landmark

Written by Chrissy Benson

Friday, 5 July 2019

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While disappointed that gerrymandering persists, Greyfall residents support the court decision to honor a special canine.

Residents of Greyfall, Wisconsin, were excited to hear about a landmark court decision issued by their local district court, only to learn disappointingly that the "landmark" decision merely designated a new town landmark - specifically, a monument honoring the town founder's trusted canine companion, Captain.

"I assumed the court's decision would be about voting districts," said Greyfall native and business owner Tom Powell, referring to the extreme Republican-friendly gerrymandering of voting districts in Wisconsin, which has had the effect of skewing election results away from the popular vote. "So that was kind of a bummer."

Powell stated that once he got past his initial underwhelm, however, he was pleased with the action taken by the court.

"Everyone tells me Captain was a great dog," said Powell. "He deserves this."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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