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Funny satire stories about Vegan

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Funny story: Homo Sapien Objects to Being Treated like an Animal

Homo Sapien Objects to Being Treated like an Animal

Carl Freeman, a 43-year-old Homo sapien inhabiting Nashville, Tennessee, objected to being treated like an animal at the Amazon shipping center where he works. "Management sees us as mere commodities," said an irate Carl regarding the attitude the...

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Funny story: Tepid Veganism Catches Fire in U.S.

Tepid Veganism Catches Fire in U.S.

In an age where moral motivation is arguably at an all-time low, Americans are shying away from the strident, self-righteous style of veganism historically adopted by animal rights activists in favor of a new, more tepid form of veganism that avoids...

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Funny story: Meat-Lover Sends Thoughts and Prayers to Suffering Farmed Animals

Meat-Lover Sends Thoughts and Prayers to Suffering Farmed Animals

"Just because I eat meat doesn't mean I don't care about animals," said Josh Driscoll of Nashville, Tennessee. "I hate when people stereotype me just because I enjoy a good steak. Vegans are so judgmental." Driscoll went on to explain that every t...

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Funny story: Trump Acknowledges that Veganism Is a Social Justice Issue but Explains that He's Not Really Into Social Justice

Trump Acknowledges that Veganism Is a Social Justice Issue but Explains that He's Not Really Into Social Justice

Noting that the current American food system inherently relies on the torture and exploitation of living, sentient beings in order to supply Americans' meat-heavy diet, U.S. President Donald Trump acknowledged that veganism is a social justice issue,...

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Funny story: Meat Industry Urges Recognition of Veganism as a Religion so that People Will Stop Taking It So Seriously

Meat Industry Urges Recognition of Veganism as a Religion so that People Will Stop Taking It So Seriously

Representatives of the meat, dairy and egg industries have come out in support of the controversial push by some to recognize veganism as an official religion entitled to the full protections of the First Amendment, simply so that vegans will stop ta...

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Funny story: College Students Relieved to Have Excuse Not to Eat with Annoying Vegan Friend

College Students Relieved to Have Excuse Not to Eat with Annoying Vegan Friend

After Cal Hartley took an official “animal liberation pledge” promising in part not to publicly sit where animals are being eaten, several of his friends at UC Berkeley were highly relieved to have an excuse not to eat with their annoying vegan frien...

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Funny story: Health Vegan Acts Self-Righteous but Secretly Doesn't Give a Fuck about Animals

Health Vegan Acts Self-Righteous but Secretly Doesn't Give a Fuck about Animals

Derek Casey of Nashville, Tennessee,  who transitioned to a whole-food, plant-based diet two years ago after his doctor threatened him with a lifetime of insulin medication, dialysis and limb amputations if he didn't get his type 2 diabetes under con...

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Funny story: Brooklyn Man's "Friends with Benefits" Proposal Foiled by Autocorrect

Brooklyn Man's "Friends with Benefits" Proposal Foiled by Autocorrect

Garret Hanson of Brooklyn, New York, was highly optimistic that his forward-thinking - and extremely attractive - new friend, Jessie Harper, would respond positively to his text message proposing an ongoing "friends with benefits" arrangement - until...

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Funny story: Open-Minded Boyfriend Supports Girlfriend in Her Vegan Hobby

Open-Minded Boyfriend Supports Girlfriend in Her Vegan Hobby

In order to support his vegan girlfriend, Kayla Meadows, in her hobbies, Nick Canto attended a plant-based nutrition conference with Kayla, tolerantly setting aside that, while Kayla seeks to live a life of non-violence in every respect, including wh...

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Funny story: Carbs Sue Keto Doctor for Slander

Carbs Sue Keto Doctor for Slander

In a groundbreaking nutritional proceeding, carbohydrates have filed a class action lawsuit against Dr. David Flesch, outspoken proponent of the fad ketogenic or "keto" diet, for slander. Specifically, the starches allege that Dr. Flesch, who promote...

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Funny story: Nashville Vegan Learns to Fit In Better by Feigning Sickness and Toning Down Her Spark for Life

Nashville Vegan Learns to Fit In Better by Feigning Sickness and Toning Down Her Spark for Life

Tired of feeling always on the outskirts of mainstream society due to her vegan lifestyle and glowing sense of wellbeing, Lindsay Larkin of Nashville, Tennessee, made it a goal to become a little more conventional, by periodically feigning illness an...

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Funny story: Vegan Bodybuilder Annoyed at Being Called a Beefcake

Vegan Bodybuilder Annoyed at Being Called a Beefcake

"Stop calling me that!" railed handsome and inordinately well-muscled vegan bodybuilder Jack Henry Chadwick after one of his friends - for the umpteenth time - referred to him as a "beefcake." "It's not funny!" he added, only accelerating the chuc...

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Funny story: Americans Inspired by Climate Change Author's Message that Burgers Are Not the Problem

Americans Inspired by Climate Change Author's Message that Burgers Are Not the Problem

When it comes to climate change, burgers are not the problem, and government is the solution, is the takeaway message of climate journalist Daniel Hill''s new book, The Unpalatable Planet: A Story Of The Future. It is a message that Americans fina...

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Funny story: Meat-Loving Preacher Points Out that, Unlike with Humans, Little Scientific Evidence Exists that Animals Have Souls

Meat-Loving Preacher Points Out that, Unlike with Humans, Little Scientific Evidence Exists that Animals Have Souls

After several parishioners approached him asking what he thought of adopting a vegan lifestyle out of compassion for animals, Pastor Raymond Roberts of Crossroads Christian Church in Nashville, Tennessee, assured them that people of faith need not co...

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Funny story: Charleston Woman Pretty Sure She's Vegan and Probably Gluten-free

Charleston Woman Pretty Sure She's Vegan and Probably Gluten-free

"I can't stand seafood, and I almost never eat regular bread," said Kendra Burke of Charleston, South Carolina, who's pretty certain she's vegan and probably also gluten-free. "I almost always opt for the wrap instead." Eating healthy in Lowcountr...

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Funny story: Former Cowboy Takes to Vegan Living like a Horse to Oats

Former Cowboy Takes to Vegan Living like a Horse to Oats

Never one to worry about bucking a system or two, Clay Rogers, a former cowboy living in Butte, Montana, has taken to his new plant-based diet like a horse to oats, literally - he eats the steel-cut variety every morning for breakfast. “Been a rea...

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Funny story: (Former) Vegan YouTube Star Returns to Eating Eggs and Fish Due to Abnormally Low Cholesterol, Mercury and Arsenic Levels

(Former) Vegan YouTube Star Returns to Eating Eggs and Fish Due to Abnormally Low Cholesterol, Mercury and Arsenic Levels

To the immense disappointment of his vegan fans around the world, YouTube star and former plant-based advocate Leif Burke announced that, due to health concerns regarding his abnormally low cholesterol, mercury, and arsenic levels, he has again begun...

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