Tear Down That Wall: Mexico To Dig Super Canal From Brownsville To San Diego

Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate

Friday, 5 July 2019

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Deputy Gator

BILLINGSGATE POST: Mexican President Lopez Obrador announced today that Mexico will not build a wall separating Mexico and the United States. Long a misfire between President Trump and Mexico, recent developments in the trade arrangements between the two countries provided the impetus for Mexico to build a new shipping canal that would connect the Gulf of Mexico with the Pacific Ocean, and provide a barrier between the two countries that would stop immigration and drug trafficking in its tracks.

Since its completion in 1914, ships have been using the Panama Canal to shorten the trip from the Atlantic to the Pacific Ocean. By digging a 2000-mile canal along the border starting at Brownsville, Texas and terminating at San Diego, the trip could be shortened by 4000 miles, saving time and money.

The Panama Canal is 48 miles long. The locks are 110 feet wide. Imagine stretching this another 2000 miles, and just for good measure, staffing newly-deputized alligators from Florida to prevent illegal immigrants and drug smugglers from crossing the canal.

Militarily, instead of our Navy warships having to go through the Panama Canal, or worse, around South America via Cape Horn, our ships could whip through the Mexican/American Canal in a matter of days. Commercial shipments would likewise save time and money.

Slim Everdingle: "Tear down that wall!"

Dirty: “Yo, Dude. All I want to see is assholes and elbows. Dig, Baby, dig!”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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