Mohammed Bingo Wings Salman Is A Lardarse Says Fatwa

Written by queen mudder

Sunday, 23 June 2019

image for Mohammed Bingo Wings Salman Is A Lardarse Says Fatwa
Snacks on boa constrictors from Mommy’s pantry

Shat-al-Arab, Middle East - (Blubber Mess): The Grand Mufti has issued a fatwa informing the people that the super-plus sized princeling is one big fat jerk.

The proclamation comes after Mohammed Bingo Wings Salman tipped the scales at more than 50 stone after swallowing a whole sheep for breakfast at the Palace Hotel.

Reports seen by Spoof reporters describe him lunching on a brace of bison washed down with crude from a 10-gallon drum.

Teatime will see him snacking on a boa constrictor from Mommy’s pantry where treats are stored for a rainy day.

Invariably, by sundown, Bingo Wings is ravenous for a proper blow-out, and dials out for dinner from the local zoo.

A deep-fried elephant and two pickled hippos soon sate his cravings, along with a dromedary dung dessert from Camel-U-Like.

Commenting on the day’s gorging, a Palace serf insisted all meals were low-fat and nutritious as befits modern trends.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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