Nashville Man Concludes Thinking Not Really for Him

Written by Chrissy Benson

Sunday, 14 April 2019

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"I may not have a smart head, but I've got smart feet," says Lucas Brody, who's decided he's just not a thinker.

One day while riding down a back road in his pickup truck, it occurred to Lucas Brody of Nashville, Tennessee, that thinking might be highly overrated.

"Some people may enjoy it, but it's not really for me," he said. "To each his own."

He didn't arrive at his anti-thinking conclusion overnight, Lucas hastened to explain. "I listened to a lot of country music growing up, and everyone in those songs was always thinking, thinking, thinking -  about life, a girl, their dead mother, whatever. And it wasn't getting them anywhere."

In addition, Lucas had a high school friend, George, who got a graduate degree in thinking (i.e., philosophy), and then couldn't find a job.

"Not like I'm all about the money," said Lucas. "But still, it goes to show."

But for Lucas, probably the biggest thinking turnoff was that, for many people, thinking seemed to be a substitute for action. "Call me crazy, but I like to go out there and do some shit," he said. "But again, that's just me."

All that being said, Lucas credits his feet with having done some extremely high-level thinking over the course of his lifetime - in the form of getting him out of an abusive childhood home and far away from a toxic, alcoholic ex-wife.

"I may not have a smart head, but I've got smart feet," said Lucas. "I'll take it."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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