No stranger to self-reflection, 38-year-old Campbell Jessup of Nashville, Tennessee, reported being stumped when his 17-year-old niece, Candace (she/her), asked him what his "pronouns" were. “I think I fell asleep during that part of English class…
MAR-A-LAGO, Florida - (Satire News) - Dr. Damian Damsillwitz, who is a licensed sexual therapist, recently informed the Wild Whispers News Agency that he has been treating DJT for the past two months for depression, egotistikitus, acne, erectile dysf…
PALM BEACH, Florida – (Satire News) - iRumors reports that the receptionist in Donald Trump’s therapist’s office has revealed a very personal matter. The receptionist who is being identified by the fake name, Marjorie Taylor Brown, told iRumors w…
MANHATTAN – (Satire News) – The BuzzFuzz News Agency has just learned from a Trump family member why Ivanka has scheduled weekly sessions with her therapist. The family member spoke under condition of anonymity with reporter Taffeta Kixx, at an un…
WARSAW, Poland – (Satire News) – After over a hundred years of having to put up with literally millions of Polish jokes, the people of Poland are glad that the Polish government has finally outlawed the dreaded humorisms. A spokesperson for Presid…
After years of therapy, Jermaine “Wiggy” Wiggins has made a major breakthrough. On the Greg Hill morning radio show this morning, Wiggy announced he’s just gone through a life altering change, realizing his fixation for certain NFL players stem fr…
For all his exceptional looks, intelligence, and abilities, 28-year-old Bryce Rodman had had a checkered history with the therapists he'd worked with, until he finally found one smart enough to understand him. "I wouldn't say it's rocket science,...
After years of late-night bingeing on massive quantities of junk food followed by periods of extreme restriction, Amanda Cantrell of New York City finally came clean to her therapist that she hadn't managed to come up with an issue more original than...
While some emotions have been shown to not take much initiative or even be downright lazy, anxiety has been found to be the hardest-working of all the emotional states - to the extend that some have described her as a total badass. "She's a real g...
Jenny Hampton of New York City, a self-described "people-pleaser" who goes to enormous lengths to win people's approval, to her own detriment, says that she wants to tell her arrogant, condescending therapist to fuck off, but is concerned as to what...
Unlike most of his fundamentalist Christian fellows, progressive Christian psychologist Lee Haley of Nashville, Tennessee, doesn’t believe that gay men are doomed to hell or in need of therapeutic “conversion,” but he admitted to secretly judging his...
After years of fending off complaints about his self-centeredness, grandiosity and extreme narcissism, Trent Lockwood of Nashville, Tennessee, finally figured out that any emotional shortcoming on his part was due to the fact that, as a young boy, hi...
When you're paid to hit people on the job you might take that home with you, or in your car, at a bar, in a nightclub, or in a parking lot dispute. NFL players are spoiled, they feel entitled. They believe they're outside the rules and that even i...
A recently leaked National Security Agency recording of a therapy session between President Barack Obama and his personal therapist revealed that Obama, in an effort to achieve mental and emotional balance, has decided to display the Nobel Peace Priz...
1. I don't know why I'm here. 2. How do I know you are not crazier than me? 3. There is no such thing as the unconscious. 4. I'll pay you if I get cured. 5. Who was the crazier between Freud and Jung? 6. I don't want prescribed any drugs. 7. My daddy is a psychotherapist. That's why I'm here. 8. I think politicians should be psychologically tested before they stand for office...
After two children, one dog, and three cars, Raymond Jones (42) of Niagara Falls, NY has filed for divorce from his wife of 12 years Rebecca (37). In the fall of 2013 the eligible (for an upgraded cell phone) Raymond went to his local AT&T sto...
In case you keep in touch with the 23-year-old gorilla, Patrick, formerly of the Dallas Zoo, be advised that you should record a change of address. He's moving to South Carolina. Gail Farrelly, a Science & Technology reporter at TheSpoof.co...
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