William Barr Issues New Four Page Summary; Rules that U.S. is Legally "Still a Monarchy"

Written by Jaki Treehorn

Saturday, 6 April 2019

image for William Barr Issues New Four Page Summary; Rules that U.S. is Legally "Still a Monarchy"
William Barr's Latest Summary Makes Trump King

Washington - Attorney General William Barr has determined that the Constitutional Democracy envisioned by the founding fathers was "fatally misconceived" and thus illegal, and has ruled that the United States must return to a monarchy form of government like the one that existed before the Revolutionary War and passing of the U.S. Constitution.

Barr further declared that Donald J. Trump, being the current American President, is proclaimed to be the "Monarch" or "King", and that the American Congress and Supreme Court are hereby dissolved. The next-in-line to the office would be the firstborn of the President's family, in the tradition of the original British monarchy, before it was illegally overthrown by force by the American colonies.

Barr's opinion, like the one he delivered to the White House in an unsolicited memo a year ago, in which he insisted that the Mueller Investigation was also fatally misconceived, was included in a letter to Trump lawyer Rudy Giuliani six months before Trump appointed him Attorney General.

"I like this guy, he moves fast," said Trump, in response to Barr's ruling. "I'm totally cool," tweeted Donald Trump Jr.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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