Written by Backandtotheleft

Thursday, 14 February 2019

The Crown Prosecution Service has decided not do the one thing that’s in their actual name: prosecute a member of the Crown. The CPS (Cowardly Ponce Service - see what we did there?) have admitted that the Duke of Edinburgh won’t be prosecuted over his crash which could have killed a young family.

They have said that it’s “not in the public interest” or, in simpler terms, “we can’t be arsed, you plebs”, essentially reminding us that the Royals' personal happiness is more important than holding up the letter of the law.

Two days after the incident, the unrepentant racist badger that he is, was pictured once again driving without a seatbelt. The police gave him some “suitable words of advice”, which he presumably completely ignored, and told them to fuck off. Which they probably got hard over.

Of course, the Duke famously drove the Obamas round when they visited Windsor in 2016. The car journey was described as “pleasant” but with constant references from the Duke saying “isn’t this queer? Normally you people are driving me!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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