Montana Woman Really Asking for It

Funny story written by Chrissy Benson

Friday, 22 March 2019

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"Meaner than dirt" is how Wanda Grayson's husband describes her.

Constantly falling-down drunk, reeking of cigarette smoke, and just generally meaner than dirt, Wanda Grayson of Billings, Montana, has really been asking for it, reported her husband, Jonah.

"She's ugly, too," said Jonah - earning him a smack across the face from Wanda.

"You're the ugliest backwoods thing I've ever seen!" retorted Wanda. "He used to be something, but he let himself go. Now he's just a fat, boozy clown who can't even find his man parts under his gut."

Unfazed by the insult, Jonah only nodded. "See what I'm talking about? She's asking for it again. Meaner than dirt, like I said."

Interestingly enough, despite the close quarters in their isolated mountain cabin, Wanda and Jonah have found a way to make their marriage work. No neighbors live near enough to be bothered by the yelling, door-slamming, or sound of glass bottles shattering against walls. And police say there has been not a single report of domestic violence - not a one. In other words, Wanda may "ask for it" on a regular basis, but she never gets it, at least not from Jonah. And according to Jonah, she never will.

"Why should I give her a  damn thing?" he growled. "She don't deserve it."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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