Trump Plans To Release American Criminals Along Length Of US/Mexico Border

Written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 21 January 2019

image for Trump Plans To Release American Criminals Along Length Of US/Mexico Border
They're ready to go!

Hamstrung by the Democrat Party's stubborn refusal to agree to the public funding of his Mexican Wall project, President Donald Trump has hatched a new idea to protect the country's precious southern border - he will release thousands of America's own dangerous criminals to 'police' the area!

Speaker of the House of Representatives, Nancy Pelosi, met with the president last week to discuss his proposal that the country fund his $5.7bn barrier, but she had severe reservations about this, telling him:

"Nope."

Now, however, Trump has been straining his cranium all weekend to come up with an alternative plan to stop nasty, unclean, uneducated, and unmonied Mexican immigrants passing over into the Land of the Free, and came up with his devastatingly-cunning plan just before he went to bed, Sunday.

Writing on Twitter, he told anyone foolish enough to be reading his ramblings:

"If she (NP) won't pay for it, I'll empty the jails! I'll speak with the best of our most dangerousest 'bad boys', and get them to wander around in those barren wastelands, like in 'Mad Max', looking for those Mexicrims. There'll be prizes for any one of our brave boys who gets one alive. Or dead. Or both!"

After several Twitter users cast 'slight doubts' on the practicalities of this idea, Trump stormed:

"I have every confidence in our courageous boys! America's bad boys will show Mexico's bad boys just who are the baddest!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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