Hillary Clinton sidles up to Joe Biden in split dress to urge herself into VEEP position

Written by joseph k winter

Tuesday, 8 January 2019

image for Hillary Clinton sidles up to Joe Biden in split dress to urge herself into VEEP position
Ms. Clinton is considering makeover surgery for a second effort at persuading Biden she should be VEEP

Yesterday, flashing his big smile, Mr. Biden announced he is the only one who can defeat Mr. Trump in 2020.

Given how his family needs him these days, he is reluctant, but he might just have to run to save The Nation.

He would be happy not to, he said, but for pity’s sakes, who other than himself can possibly prevail for the Democrats in 2020?

Accordingly, the candidates so far were relegated to “useless” or "worse than useless" by Mr. Biden:

Sanders, Warren, O'Rourke, Bloomberg, Gabbard, and Ocasio-Cortez (if she would just come to her senses).

With full nodding agreement, Ms. Clinton rushed to conference with Mr. Biden on her latest inspiration for assuming an executive position.

The exchange was caught (and texted) by a secretary (female) under Biden's desk searching for thumbtacks, according to Mr. Biden's office.

“I have been FLOTUS,” Ms. Clinton said, “and damn close to POTUS twice, and now, what the hell, I’m thinking the VEEP could do me nicely—if I’m not in jail, that is.”

Ms. Clinton’s appeal was accompanied by a new hairdo and a long green dress split along the right side thigh.

She maintained that, since she is younger than Mr. Biden, when he has moments of fatigue as Chief Executive, she would be glad to take over.

Plus, after his eight years in office, she would then (finally) be in the best position to have a go at being POTUS come 2028.

Mr. Biden continued smiling broadly as he responded that he knew he, himself, was Number One of all present (and future) 2020 candidates and would certainly win.

Further, he said a female VEEP would no doubt add even more guarantee to conquest of The Office.

However, he was not sure Ms. Clinton’s attributes at this time fit the bill on what he was looking for.

His veep, he said, needs to be young, vivacious, sexy, and not overly used-up.

Mr. Biden’s smile throughout this response indicated he could also be used in advertisements for Colgate Toothpaste.

In rejoinder, Ms. Clinton was less happy.

Exiting, she was heard muttering that “Therefore, by God,” she herself “would definitely need to enter the 2020 contest and show this Biden d**khead a thing or two.”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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