President Trump Announces Two New Public Holidays

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 11 October 2018

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Judgment Day - Oct 5

President Donald Trump has reacted swiftly to the good news about Judge Brett Kavanaugh's being confirmed as Associate Justice Supreme Court by introducing not one, but two, new US national public holidays.

The first of these holidays is to be October 5, to recognize the honesty of the American nation, and the people's ability to overcome overwhelming odds, in their struggle to get to 'the heart of the Truth' in the face of near-insurmountable pressure.

This will be 'Judgment Day'. Said Mr Trump:

"We stood firm in the face of baseless lies. That the highest committee of honest, upright individuals saw fit to clear Brett Kavanaugh of any wrongs, tells the world everything they need to know about American justice!"

The second new date on everyone's 'day off' calendar, will be October 6, to commemorate Judge Kavanaugh's confirmation by the Supreme Court. This will be 'Justice Day'. Trump:

"This will be a day long-remembered in the history of this country, when the nation's top honest citizens saw through the charade that threatened to envelope one of our most gifted, and respected judges, in a web of deceit and evil actions, and confirmed him as such."

After a significant gap of a few seconds, he added:

"Er ... gifted and respected, I mean."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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