So Kavanaugh’s A Flasher

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Monday, 24 September 2018


The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for So Kavanaugh’s A Flasher
"It wasn't me."

So Brett Kavanaugh is a serial flasher. So what’s the big deal? He can still sit on the bench and decide women’s health issues; when and if women should be allowed birth control; whether women should retain the right to vote, drive a car, wear shoes or get out of the kitchen.

Judge Kavanaugh will be sporting a long black robe when he sits on the bench at the United States Supreme court and, presumably, he’ll keep his robe all buttoned up, neat and tidy.

Perhaps Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Sonia Sotomayor, and Elena Kagan may still give him a wide berth in the halls at the court. However, he will undoubtedly refrain from flashing at that institution. There is respect for the Supreme Court. It isn’t as though the Supreme Court is an upstairs bedroom, drunken Yale frat house, or a secluded dark alley.

Senator Mitch McConnell, representing Kentucky with a constituency half the size of New York city, announced, “Don’t get rattled. We’re going to plow right through it, (Kavanaugh's nomination) and do our job.”

Don’t get rattled? Really? Michael Avenatti is slowly moving his turret away from the Stormy Daniels/Trump one-night-stand, and towards the Kavanaugh nomination. That means trouble. The kind of problem that should send worrisome trembles up little Kentucky.

Michael Avenatti has a witness who will testify that Kavanaugh and others plied women with alcohol and drugs, “in order to allow a ‘train’ of men to subsequently gang rape them.”

Little Kentucky just keeled over. Pass the smelling salts. Kavanaugh is waving his tiny Trump fingers saying, “It wasn’t me.” Lady Justice dropped her scales, ripped off her blindfold, spiked her sword and announced, “Not in my Supreme Court!”

Too late for David Pecker to kill Avenatti’s story. Forgot about Pecker? Pecker is the editor of The Enquirer and person who quashed all of Trump’s women’s stories but published stories about Trump’s enemies.

Will the Senate Judiciary Committee withdraw the confirmation of Brett Kavanaugh to the U.S. Supreme Court, and will Kavanaugh have to resign from the D.C. Circuit?

Rattled? How’s that plow working?

Read more by this author:

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more