Written by T. Loaf

Sunday, 26 August 2018

Bent on ensuring fair trade - as he sees it - across the world, Donald Trump has now punished Japanese imports to the promised land by raising tax on their soy sauce. In a tit for tat reaction, Japanese Prime Minister, Shizo Abe, has slapped an extra 50 % tax on imported beef from the USA. And that hurts.

But Donald was not to be outdone and has meanwhile levied an additional 75 % tax on imported basito flakes and kunbo seaweed. "That'll teach 'em", muttered the President.

Oh dear, back came Abe, and banned the import of soybeans, meaning of course that soy sauce cannot be made anyway. Interesting. Trump then dug deep into his connections and banned the use of Netflix as shown today in Japan. Netflix in Japan will now only broadcast repeats of the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson from 1974.

"Who's Johnny Carson?", tweeted Abe.

"You'll love him," retorted the President and made an O-sign with his thumb and forefinger.

Yesterday Japan became even more viscious. It has now limited the number of US athletes allowed to enter Japan for the Olympic Games in Tokyo in 2020. Any US athlete selected must be shorter than 1.55 m and have a mother called Ethel - otherwise they will be turned back at the airport.

"Simply childish", said Trump. "How can anyone sink to such levels? It's sick. This could go on for ever..".

Yes, quite, Donald, quite...

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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