Manafort Cops Plea Deal To Testify Against Trump

Funny story written by mikewadestr

Friday, 3 August 2018

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Catch me if you can!

In a shocking move, high profile defendant, Paul Manafort, on trial for his business dealings, took a plea deal to have all charges dropped if he testified against Donald Trump. The plea deal was signed off by trial judge T.S. Ellis III.

Invoking the Precursor Disillusion rule which allows defendants from one trial to testify against people who will be indicted and brought to trial in the future, Manafort whose testimony was recorded, gave shocking testimony about Trump colluding with the Russians.

“You bet Trump colluded with the Russians!” answered Manafort testifying from the defendant’s box. “We were at Harold’s Deli in Washington DC on the 26 of June 2016, when Trump shoplifted a Russian candy bar. He just put it in his pocket and left the deli without paying for it. That candy bar most likely had a direct link to the Kremlin. He even sang a Russian song as he left and started doing the Mazurka”.

Later on in the trial, the deli owner Harold Links testified on his behalf. When asked about the incident, Harold stated: “That was one expensive candy bar Mr. Trump stole. It retails for $5.00 and due to the loss of merchandise I had to eventually declare bankruptcy. I lost everything! Those candy bars are mostly bought by Russian spies residing in the US. As a matter of fact, the only customers buying the chocolate bars are Russian spies”.

After the trial, Mueller addressed the press: “The testimony of Paul Manafort and the deli owner Harold Links pretty much sums up the case of Trump’s Russian collusion. We will be using Mr. Manafort’s testimony for Trump’s trial in which Paul Manafort will attend by hologram”.

As of press time, Paul Manafort amended his testimony by telling the court that Trump, also, shoplifted a set of Russian wooden nesting dolls from a doll shop.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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