Written by Ralph E. Shaffer

Thursday, 2 August 2018

A White House leaker has made the following Oval Office conversation between the president and his press secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders available to Spoof, exclusively:

"Mr. President, you've got a grammatical problem with this next tweet."

"If I say it, it must be grammatically correct. I'm the president."

"Yes, you are the prexy, but I have to edit your tweets. That's usually for unnecessarily gross profanity - I let the little stuff go through - but this time it's strictly grammar. You used
'which' without a comma."

Long, awkward pause in tape as Trump tries to recall his 9th grade English class, not sure that Miss Sherman said anything about a comma before "witch," or that "witch" was ever discussed. Maybe we did read about the Salem witch trials, which is what he thought he was alluding to in his constant references to a witch hunt.

"Why would I need a comma between 'witch' and 'hunt?' "

"No, Mr. President, it's not 'witch' that has a problem, it's 'which'. Here, let me read the line in question in the tweet to you."

Another pause as Sanders prepares to read, apparently showing the written tweet to Trump, who moves closer to see the printed line.

"Mr. President, I think you inadvertently moved a bit too close. You're blocking my light..... Thank you. I can see the line now."

Sanders, reading: " 'The special counsel's investigation which is a witch hunt ought to end immediately.' You need a comma before which."

She continues: "The first which is part of an explanatory clause the way you wrote it. Sounds like only part of his investigation is a witch hunt. Actually, you think the whole process is one. But if you put in that comma before which, it makes it clear that you're condemning the whole affair."

The president's voice shows confusion. "Which which? Which or witch'? I don't think a comma works for either one."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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