Written by joseph k winter

Thursday, 26 July 2018

image for Brennan admitted to Age Reversal Clinic with pink uniforms and teddy bears
The multi-function bear therapy tool soon available at Walmart

Pioneered by Oscar J. Rankle some years ago, Age Reversal Therapy (ART) has developed a pivot switch in the human brain to reverse the aging process.

Politics, biology, and cerebral engineering thus come together at this important time in America.

Mr. Rankle reached his 82nd year and held up his hand. “Enough!” he said. “I now dedicate myself to the other direction!”

In practical terms, Mr. Rankle’s ambition was to age not to 83—but to 81. Subsequently, he would “climb down the years, he said, until a maximum youth parameter was reached.

His ideal age level (IAL) is 42, which he feels was a time of maturity and fine physical strength.

Some years in, with Mr. Rankle now 78, the medical establishment, the pharmaceutical companies, and various corporations are seeking his expertise.

A new generation of products related to “a bright and exuberant life-style free of the taint of narcissism!” is in blueprint at this time.

The key concern of course is how Mr. Rankle has managed to reverse himself toward being younger.

Tissue studies indicate the Mr. Rankle has experienced significant rejuvenation plus higher levels of energy, memory function, and intelligence.

Mr. Rankle has stated he will only reveal his methodology “when the time (that is, the money) is right.”

Meanwhile, ARR (age reversal regeneration) is the most promising therapy at this current iteration of the planet's progress in human rationality and the pursuit of peace.

It bodes well for both product development and (especially for those slipping toward dementia) new thinking instead of ASD syndrome (automatic salivating dog syndrome)

Each ARR clinic is staffed with sympathetic staff. Patients wear a gender-neutral pink uniform. Teddy bears are also used as iphones, tablets, and companions.

In related development, recent legislation, created by Representative Trey Gowdy (R-South Carolina) offers therapy in an ARR clinic instead of congressional investigation.

Review of the problem:

a) Mr. Brennan has characterized Mr. Trump’s visit with Vladimir Putin as treason, the act of a traitor, and Mr. Trump’s being held hostage in Mr. Putin’s “pocket.”

b) He may be subject to investigation related to several matters in the finer details of Russia-gate.

However, with an ambulance and therapists in white uniforms arriving at Mr. Brennan’s residence to escort him to a nearby ARR unit, Mr. Brennan was reported entirely cooperative.

He answered the door in pink bedroom slippers and robe, ready to don the uniform and eager for a look at his teddy bear.

“Actually,” he was heard to remark, “I’m due for a long rest anyway, and hell, a few years along I’ll be in better shape for my run at the presidency.”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!





Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
42 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more