The ever affable and jovial President Donald Trump has announced this morning our solar system is only made up of the sun, earth and moon. The idea there are 7 other planets in our solar system is merely “fake news”.
Speaking at a morning press conference the amiable Trump stated: “NASA has been pulling the wool over our eyes for years. They have constantly lied to us about the existence of 7 other planets in our solar system. They are not good people. Also, Galileo as well as a slew of other astronomers past and present have been lying to us. All of them are not good people”.
When asked how he could say such a thing where an overwhelming amount of evidence has proven otherwise, neighborly Trump answered: “There is no proof of the planets existing. Putin told me this during the summit. Putin is a good guy. NASA has claimed to have sent up hundreds of satellites to explore the planets but in reality those were not satellites that were sent up it, was just a bunch of their dirty laundry”.
“Another thing to point out”, continued benevolent Trump. “They say Jupiter is the biggest planet in the solar system, which cannot possibly be true. Jupiter is not big enough to keep my big head from leaving the planet’s atmosphere, only earth is”.
"We need to correct the problem created by these really bad people”, stated convivial Trump. “The science books need to be changed and everyone is going to have to retake elementary school to get up to speed with what is correct”.
As of press time it was revealed that the pleasant Trump had announced it was the sun that circled the earth and not otherwise.