Deepest, Africa - According to Voryiay iLdoday, Chief Game Warden, elephant poaching is soon to be a thing of the past.
iLdoday and his team are fitting all elephants with automatic guided missile launchers. The special system detects rifle cracks and sends a guided missile to the source which then uses infrared seeking to home in on the nearest warm body.
Early tests resulted in unfortunate chain reactions in which whole heards of elephants became meat showers when the rockets detected each other’s launches and reacted.
The meat was collected, pickled with aspartame engendered methyl alcohol and sold to raise money for the next try.