JOHANNESBURG, South Africa – (World Satire) – The director of the Apartheid Family Zoo has just confirmed that 3 adult female African elephants were stolen overnight. Zoo Director Kimberly P. Queenscrown, 57, reported the incident to the Johannesb…
San Antonio man, Daniel Bobo, brought his emotional support animal to the San Antonio International Airport to give him solace on his trip to Hawaii on Sunday morning. The elephant is a full-grown, African bush elephant, being 10 feet tall and weigh…
Following the inept, forty-three minute execution of inmate Clayton Lockett in Oklahoma seven years ago, the Oklahoma legislature has recently voted to replace the "dead in the water" lethal injection route with “Death by Dumbo”. Following the nat…
Zookeepers at Chester Zoo were surprised this morning to hear the anguished cries of a man in pain in the elephant enclosure. Rushing to help, they discovered a man lying with his trousers round his ankles next to the Asian bull elephant, Jimbo, who…
Mark Cavendish is one of the greatest British cyclists of all time, with more than 140 professional wins to his name: 48 stage wins across all three Grand Tours with a points classification jersey at each, as well as a world and a national road race...
Geoff Grunt is an Australian zoologist whose love of animals has taken him throughout the world. He spoke exclusively to TheSpoof about his new TV series, Wild Fuckers. “It was an intense year filming that show. We wanted to capture nature in all...
Deepest, Africa - According to Voryiay iLdoday, Chief Game Warden, elephant poaching is soon to be a thing of the past. iLdoday and his team are fitting all elephants with automatic guided missile launchers. The special system detects rifle cracks...
Kerala, India: Chained elephants in India look peaceful, loving, and really not dangerous until humans, believing they possess 'Elephant Whisper' skills attempt to mount them! After whispering in the huge ears of a chained elephant, and feeding...
Scientists in India are rapidly discovering why elephants can become stressed by analysing their crap, it seems! Now if one has ever chased elephants on a safari, observed the poor creatures chained to their master's logs, being hunted by poachers...
Washington, DC - Since 1874 the Republican Party has been symbolized by the elephant, in contrast to the Democratic Party's donkey. Yesterday the GOP announced that it will no longer use the elephant in any advertising or other campaigns. After...
Washington, D.C. - A recent survey of over 1000 elephants from zoos across America, confirmed what biologists who study the great, big animals have thought all along - elephants are very aware that they are the face of the Republican Party - and they...
The elephant in the room has taken his own life. He was suffering from clinical depression. He was extremely self-conscious, thinking that he makes others uncomfortable. He was always confused about people's true feelings towards him and he never understood his own place in this world. Sometimes people ignored him and sometimes he was the talk of the room either way no one ever really saw him...
What for, you ask? To buy his morning coffee, of course. On a break from a nearby zoo, the elephant munched peanuts and chatted with startled customers as he waited for his order, two dozen Skinny Mochas. He said he was watching his weight; s...
CHICAGO - The Committee Overseeing Shoppers Actions, known as COSA, has just issued a press release which will pertain to Black Friday, starting in 2013. Anastasia "Salsa" Lightmiggle 42, national director of COSA, stated that due to the ever-grow...
TARZANVILLE, Lower Zamgola - The African countries of Lower Zamgola and Buffaranda have been waring against each other since September of 2002. Geographic experts state that the friction between the two neighboring countries first started after a...
If you thought that cats are the only animals that purr, think again. Researchers have recently reported that elephants purr too. See "The Mystery of the Purring Elephant" by Veronique Greenwood in TIME.com (August 3, 2012). A Spoof reporter who...
(AP) Yangon -The long impoverished South East Asian nation of Myanmar is understood to be in negotiations with The World Health Organisation (WHO) co-founder Derek Zoolander to trial Facebook as an International Electronic Medical Record. Speakin...
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