Following the now accepted Presidential standard of offering Pardons for loyal party hacks who provide diffusion for the fake Russian investigation. The latest batch of lucky Pardonees are out of the starting box early. In fact the Pardons were announced before the DoJ indictments so as not to miss a good Friday Night Football ratings boost
This new American tradition is of course a spin off of the popular and financially successful PardonsforaFee.com that Trump.com™ established for his flack wing man Manfart.
Putin has said in as a gesture of goodwill towards Americans to prove Muellers indictment is fake, by extending Trump.com™ jurisdiction temporarily to Russia. Thus he can issue Reciprocal Pardons which will be converted into Russian Pardons and then Mueller will have to drop his indictments. Trump.com™ is also considering disbanding the Supreme Court and making his Nuney ally, Gorsch the sole arbitrator of US law.
They claim this is merely for administrative efficiency and to unclog the biased court system and make the Very Whitehouse policy much more conveniently implementable. However Press Secetary SuckerHead has categorically denied any attempt to undermine US law or financially gain from the office. After all she said "now we know for sure the Russian hacking is fake as they didn't indict anybody from the Very Whitehouse.
