President Trump is in critical condition at Bethesda Medical Hospital after being struck by lightning at 3:14pm at his Mara Lago Golf Course in Palms Springs Florida today.
He was on the 9th hole when a light drizzling rain began to fall as the leader of the free world approached the tee.
Ben Carson, The Secretary of HUD was quick to point out that they should go inside, but The Secret Service were quick to tackle the man who they mistook for a terrorist.
The president's bodyguards tried to protect the 71 year old with umbrellas, but he waved them away.
He lifted his three iron high in the air, proclaiming "Fuck the poor!" before being struck.
Witnesses described the president's skeleton as glowing visibly through his body. Secret Service drive him to the hospital after the sizzling and popping had subsided.