Groping Women Shrinks Hands

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Friday, 4 November 2016


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"Never met the guy."

The myth claims masturbation causes blindness. Looking at those tiny hands wave from the podium, it appears that groping women shrinks hands. No wide receiver there, maybe a drummer, but not a pianist. Octaves, don't you know?

Will Donald be elected president? The FBI is helping.

Maybe it's a female thing. Some men feel threatened by a female President of the United States. Some men will deny it. Some men will swear it on a bible. Men wrote the bible, minimized women and thought the world was flat. Pancake flat!

How many women does a serial groper have to assault before the FBI looks into criminal behavior? Thirteen women have stepped forward and the FBI acts as though, "Stuff happens. What time is the ball game?"

Would the FBI make a tweet if twenty-five women stepped forward? If the number jumped to fifty, would the FBI pay a visit? Recently, it hardly made the news when Miss Finland stepped forward to complain about the Republican nominee. Did anyone hear mention about Miss Australia's complaints?

A rape victim was threatened with murder if she held a press conference. Maybe the FBI could drop the email investigation and investigate a threat of murder? If this type of behavior were reported about an African-American, bets are the FBI would have sent a swat team.

Donald Trump suggests his followers use second amendment rights. He waves off the suggestion of assassination with a grin, bobble head and shrug. FBI: Are you awake?

Hillary Clinton used a private server! Eke! The sky is falling! Eke! She's a woman, and then there's that time of the month…

Tell that to Meg Whitman, Opera Winfrey, Madeleine Albright, Colonel Eileen Collins, Arianna Huffington, Martha Stewart, Gloria Steinem, Lindsey Vonn, Elizabeth Warren, Meryl Streep, Joy Reid, Donna Karen, Misty Copeland, Judge Judy, Michelle Obama and Queen Elizabeth.

Men can carry heavy luggage, but intelligence is equal.

"Our candidate will protect the integrity of the Supreme Court!"

Would you leave your teen-age daughter alone in a room with a serial groper?

Then how can you give him the United States of America?

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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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