Trump Racist Voter Discrimination Laws OK

Funny story written by Keith Shirey

Friday, 2 September 2016

Hey!

The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Trump Racist Voter Discrimination Laws OK
REMOVE THOSE VOTERS FROM THE ROLLS!

On Friday, Rolling Stone will release on newsstands, "The GOP's Secret War on Voters," a year's-long investigation by Greg Palast and a team of experts exposing a scheme by 29 Republican state voting officials to remove voters, a program directed by ultra-right Trump operative Kris Kobach Secretary of State of Kansas.

Palast obtained the lists-kept "confidential" by states on grounds these millions are criminal suspects. According to database experts who have statistically analyzed the lists, the program is "dangerous" and "seriously biased against minorities." Already, the swings states with tight Senate races, Ohio, North Carolina and Arizo

Too, it is rumored that many states in the Old Confederacy are following another path to get rid of voters who are people of color.

"Of course, so-called 'criminal suspects' can't be barred from voting" said Professor Richard Styles of Clemson University. In America everyone is presumed innocent until proven guilty."

Styles pointed out that over the last month, one federal court after another has struck down attempts by Republican legislatures to suppress the votes of racial minorities.

But George Wallace III argued differently in a CNN interview. He is a spokesperson for the Trump campaign in North Carolina. "Look, the purpose of any legal system is to give stability and certainty to government officials. If Florida, under Jeb Bush, could steal the election from Al Gore as ratified by the U.S. Supreme Court we can do what we want in North Carolina. Voter suppression in our state isn't anything compared to stealing an election."

"Too," Mr. Wallace went on, "it's a matter of State's Rights. The constitution says all powers not delegated to the federal government are reserved for the states. The federal courts have been ruling against racist voter discrimation laws, particularly in the Old Confederacy. They don't have the power to do that. Only the Supreme Court had the authority to do that when it stopped the vote count in Florida because it upheld what the state under Jeb Bush wanted."

The argument was treated seriously by CNN whose policy is to present all sides of issues. During the next segment of the program the issue was whether rape on college campuses was permissible if a student's judgment was impaired by alcohol or drugs.

But, on condition of anonymity, a techie for Techsmart maker of the voting machines in North Carolina, Georgia. Alabama, Mississippi and Texas, where voters with suspected Black and Latino names would be purged from the voting machines in November, a glitch in the voting machines will cause people with common Anglo-Saxon names to be purged, instead, was the news given to this reporter.

People with such sir names make up a very substantial part of the vote in those states. The techie said i could publish the article now because it was too late for Techsmart to remedy the defect.

"Of course they could destroy the machines and try to install the old paper method of voting but it's probably way late to do that," said the technician.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more