The big question: If monkeys take over US elections, will a monkey be elected? Short answer? Yes. Holy hell! The monkeys are coming. Can Canada help the US, or can Mexico? Where’s the Supreme Court? The FBI? Hey, CIA, are you there? Can you d…
Mayor of New York, Bill DeBlasio, reports his daughter is recovering nicely and will be released soon. His daughter, Chiara DeBlasio, 25, showed signs of a second indication of perfide rei publicae lingua (rogue political tongue) in Democratic Cir…
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – According to the Vox Populi News Agency, Trump says that every vote that was cast in California and New York state will be nullified. He stated that he has personally investigated the situation, and found that vo…
Ten Other Things Undecided Voters Are Undecided On. 1) Eating a Filet Mignon prepared by Ina Garten, or eating bodega Spam that expired in 1997. 2) Getting passed a basketball in a game of hot potato, or getting passed an MK3 grenade. 3) Whe…
BUFFALO NIPPLES, Wyoming – (Satire News) - The man who is best known for being the husband of Kim Kardashian told TMZ that he feels that he is picking up more and more voters. Fargo Windmill with the Political Drive-Thru Window asked him why he th…
Trump supporters are being encouraged to boycott the November Election. "Don't turn out the way the socialist ultra left commies are calling on everyone to do. They just want you to get in trouble for not wearing a mask!" said a recently diseased…
KALAMAZOO, Michigan - The highly respected NAFP had their annual meeting and the group headed by Dr. Tiffania Farragut of Shreveport, Louisiana, is deeply concerned about the mental state of President Trump. Dr. Farragut, 37, stated that even befo...
MEMPHIS - One of the most popular singers on the music scene today is Taylor Swift. She has sold over 200 million singles and albums worldwide, including 3.2 million in Guatemala alone. Tay-Tay, as her 100 million-plus Twitter and Instagram follow...
Plebes, Prudes, and Pimps Take Plebescite WIRED STREET JOURNAL REPORTER: KR SCHWARTZ DATELINE: Washington D.C. January 24th, 2019 (a day that will live in infamy) In a paean to impotence, the United States Senate voted on two separate bil...
In an attempt to thwart the Republican Reeperbahn in next years elections, liberal activists and Democrats are using the fear of regressive marijuana policies to recruit pot smokers who wouldn't vote otherwise. Portia Nicolya of Rationalize US Mar...
The 2016 presidential election has been full of talk about Russian involvement. WikiLeaks released repeated batches of emails related to the Democratic Party. U.S. intelligence agencies traced the leaks to Russian hackers sanctioned by the Russian go...
On Friday, Rolling Stone will release on newsstands, "The GOP's Secret War on Voters," a year's-long investigation by Greg Palast and a team of experts exposing a scheme by 29 Republican state voting officials to remove voters, a program directed by...
Shadow Lanes Senior Center - George Bush Senior announced today that in the Presidential election he would be voting for tapioca pudding. "I believe tapioca pudding can protect us from dust-bunny attacks." Stated Bush. "According to my magic belly...
WASHINGTON D.C. - After a tense vote today, House Speaker John Boehner was re-elected to a third term as Speaker of the House. A number of Republicans voted for someone else to take over the position and it was the biggest push for a Speaker chan...
WASHINGTON. VOTES FOR SALE by order of Congress. Yes folks, it's finally here, on the back of the 1997 North Carolina ground breaking voluntary sterilization for women called "Project Prevention" that invited young women to have themselves sterilized...
The newly formed "Apathy" party which sprung up almost overnight via social networking websites came in for a slamming by David Cameron at a meeting of The Conservative Party in Scunthorpe Working Men's club last night. "Apathy is endemic in our poli...
Billy Raymond of Studs, Georgia has been fired by the state government because he was reported as only doing his job in a half-ass way. Raymond was the second worker fired this week after Chester Moleturd became victim number one earlier. "Wa...
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