Media Escapes Angry Mob At Trump Event

Funny story written by Keith Shirey

Saturday, 20 August 2016

image for Media Escapes Angry Mob At Trump Event

Today a woman wearing a hijab was ejected from a Trump rally. A hibab covers the head and is a symbol of dignity and modesty to a Muslim woman. In the West wearing it is optional for most. But Trump obviously associates it with ISIS and Al-Queda or, at the least, something un-American.

"I'll tell you what lady," shouted the candidate into the microphone, "you can wear that hibab in here if the cloth is made out of red, white, and blue. In other words, you have to wear an American Flag hijabamgig."

The crowd roared in appreciation. After the rally, Mavis
Regressive of Piedmont, South Carolina said, "Trump done the right thing. This is America!"

Elvis Stoner, also of Piedmont, agreed, "What are the women who wear that scarf hiding? Is it a knife? Those people who come over here to, what at least used to be, a white man's country. should obey the law, our land, and our customs."

When I pointed out to Mr. Stoner that Ibtihaj Muhammad, a young Muslim-American fencer on the U.S. team, chose to wear a hijab during Olympic competition and asked what he thought of that, he replied, "Well, I just don't get why they allowed her to represent the good ol' U.S. of A. What were they thinking. If they together had one brain cell it would be lonely."

After a small crowd of angry looking people gathered around Mr. Stoner and Ms. Regressive, I decided to leave but Amy Goodman of Free Speech TV and Pacifica radio, left-wing television and radio broadcast stations, began asking questions of the crowd. Goodman was doing a documentary on Trump supporters and her camera crew attracted a larger group.

"I recognize you Amy," said one of the assembly. "You're that commie woman my dumb ass retard son watches on TV."

Goodman said to him that the issue under discussion was people's reaction to an American fencer at the Olympics wearing a hijab. The man, who turned out to be Earl Earl of Broken Urinal, GA. who had adorned himself with tattoos apparently made from homemade tools, said to me, "No woman could ever fence in one of those things that covered her head to toe."

When Ms. Goodman explained the difference between a burka and a hijab, Mr. Earl Earl responded, "Yeah, I'd expect you'd know all about what them terrorists wear."

"Look, a head scarf worn by Ibtihaj Muhammad is a symbol of her faith. It's like the American flag is probably to you a symbol of pride in your country," said Amy Goodman over murmurs of displeasure in the crowd.

As the crowd grew testier Ms. Goodman spoke louder and queried, "Can't we just tolerate diversity and differences?"

Earl Earl shouted, "She wants us to support ISIS 'cause she supports its creator, Barak Hussein Obama!"

As Goodman, the camera crew and I hurriedly left what seemed to have become an indignant mob, sounds of chants of "USA, USA, " shouted out to our unpatriotic ears.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more