A political party aimed at catching irate votes has shocked Westminster this week by winning its first seat in the Clacton by-election. The Angry Shouting Party was founded by Alan Cross, a door-to-door door salesman who was inspired to start the movement three years ago when his wife left him.
"There are a lot of angry people out there," said the new MP. "I've come along at just the right time to be swept to power on a wave of general resentment."
When asked what he is angry about, and what policies he has, the ASP are a bit more shifty. Their official manifesto rants about the government, the civil service, public services, private companies, foreign governments, immigrants, domiciled immigrants, lazy non-immigrants, the unemployed, the overpaid, the underpaid, and many, many others.
Nevertheless they have proven to be incredibly popular. Their meetings are packed out, and often end in violence, so furious are the attendees. One follower tried to justify why he joined the party, saying, "Well, it's an outlet, isn't it? It takes the pressure off the wife."
Political theorist Ivor Nansa explained, "This is yet another example of how democracy is an imperfect system. These uneducated fools can barely control their emotions, you can't expect them to vote rationally. They just want to express their disapproval. I believe this movement would disappear if the government would just deliver free punchbags to every home in the country."
The ASP were certain that they would be around for some time. "We would like to see change," declared Alan Cross at his latest rally. "I can't say what that change would be, but if we are angry enough and we shout enough, then we can make it happen."