BILLINGSGATE POST: Virtually guaranteeing Donald Trump the presidency, Bill Clinton accused his wife of being, "crooked as a dog's hind leg," after she caught him "a hosing and a blowsing as moma come a nosing" with his standby honey, the infamous "Exercise Bunny."
Whatever rules applied to their marriage, evidently one of them was broken when Hillary returned back to the Clinton home in Chappaqua, New York to find Bubba and the Energizer Bunny totally nekid on the family pool table.
With Bill's parrot squawking hysterically, "Don't shoot, bitch!" Hillary walked into the scene as Bubba and the Energizer Bunny were attempting a virtual trifecta on the pool table. With his cue fully chalked, he had just lined up the one ball for the corner pocket, the eight ball into a side-pocket, and at the same time, bank his last remaining ball off the side cushion to complete the trifecta the hard way.
Too many balls, you say? Don't sweat the small stuff, Dude.
Anyway, with the parrot going absolutely berzerk, squawking and hissing at Hillary as she accosted the Energizer Bunny, who was attempting to cover her loins with a lace doily, complete bedlam set forth. The four of them, Hillary, Bubba, the Energizer Bunny and the f..cking parrot; all piling and pummeling on the pool table. The bird, sensing that all was not well, was about to flee the scene when Bubba called a time out.
Ever the conciliatory genius, he turned the tables on his wife, accusing her of lying about when she planned to return home.
"Trump was right about you, Hillary. You're as crooked as a dog's hind leg for telling me you weren't coming back until tomorrow morning. I thought you were out making a speech because we got bills to pay."
"From now on I'm going to call you Crooked Hillary."
NOTE: In some minds, this might appear to be yellow journalism. I wish to thank our founding fathers for the First Amendment.