The Berneesta merging with Hillary Rodham Clinton leads to gag order at the Democratic National Convention

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Wednesday, 13 July 2016

image for The Berneesta merging with Hillary Rodham Clinton leads to gag order at the Democratic National Convention
This Sanders delegate was unable to comment following Mr. Sanders' endorsement of Hillary Clinton

Yesterday, Mr. Sanders announced his endorsement of Ms. Clinton while she stood to one side clapping her hands and nodding, as one observer put it, "ad nauseum."

Directly following, officials for the upcoming Democratic National Convention in Philadelphia announced a "gag order" in order to marshal events and keep things tidy.

This commandment has quickly become known amongst delegates and spectators for proceedings as "Thou shalt not gag."

Interpretations of the term "gag" are running rampant on social media.

However, a member of the convention's Host Committee has clarified that the order is only meant to curtail "unnecessary conversation" on Mr. Sanders' endorsement of Ms. Clinton.

"Of course we are not abrogating the first amendment," he added. "This gag directive is meant as guidance to honor proceedings and assure dignity."

This gag order means that certain topics should be left aside in quiet and dusty corners while the coronation of Hillary Clinton proceeds, such as--

*the email double standard

*her insider connections with Goldman Sachs and Wall Street

*her commitment to Israel's leadership and reluctance to use the O word for what's going on in Palestine

*her past actions in Libya and hawkish views of Syria

*whether she is really committed to resisting the TPP, fracking, and the fossil fuel industry

Nor should there be discussion of--

*Mr. Sanders' wholehearted endorsement of Ms. Clinton, following all his talk of "revolution"

*How Mr. Sanders can support this candidate after his extensive verbiage in the opposite direction for the past year

Instead, Host Committee members plan to mingle in the throng with clapping hands raised, bright eyes, and a "business as usual" demeanor as to move the convention right along.

Rumors that as part of central stage proceedings Mr. Sanders, Ms. Warren, and Hillary Clinton, all wearing blue jackets, will join hands and raise their arms together for the cheering throng have not yet been confirmed.

Rumors that some delegates and others in the audience plan a "vomitorium" at a crucial moment in proceedings have not yet been confirmed.

Nevertheless, this particular response to "the gag order" has been mustering some support, according to insider sources, as the nation approaches another celebration of its politics.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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