Prostitution Booms During RNC

Funny story written by XRhonda Speaks

Monday, 18 July 2016

Hey!

The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Prostitution Booms During RNC
Business for sex workers boomed during the RNC, an estimated 5 to 10 million dollars was spent on prostitution.

The worlds oldest and the worlds most odious professions have met in Cleveland and the result has been a windfall for the worlds oldest.

Sex worker Lydia Kidder, not her real name, explains why the business for prostitutes was so good this year at the RNC in Cleveland.

"It's not just the numbers, it's all the sexually repressed Republicans who want to do what they can't do with their husbands and wives, so these people will pay a lot more than average customers who are just dealing with sexual boredom. They are having their sexual fantasies come true."

Kidder says it's not uncommon for clients to pay several thousand dollars for fantasy or role playing scenarios, and one of the more successful sex workers she knows made fifty thousand dollars during the week of the Republican National Convention.

But what about sex workers on the low end of the scale?

Kidder is also a member of American Sex Workers Union which is on the forefront of fighting for legalization and regulation of prostitution and it also advocates for the prevention of human trafficking and exploitation of sex workers.

ASWU members demonstrated all week at the RNC demanding that republicans quit stalling on legislation that will protect sex workers.

"Ironically", Kidder says, "Republicans are our most frequent customers, but when it comes to protecting sex workers and preventing trafficking, the GOP doesn't have the time of day for us."

Of the 200 million dollar boost to the Cleveland economy during the RNC, experts say 5 to 10 million of that was spent on prostitutes.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more