Trump Announces Cabinet-to-Be

Funny story written by Al N.

Thursday, 26 May 2016


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Trump will be keeping track of the money besides the rest of the duties.

New York, NY In his latest press conference, Trump announced his intended Cabinet for what he believes will be his upcoming Presidency.

He named:

Vice-President-Chris Christie-Because he knows a lot about Vice.

Secretary of State-Angelina Jolie-Because she has great legs and Trump thinks a secretary should have great legs.

Secretary of Defense-Clint Eastwood so he could ask the Russians and North Koreans if they're feeling lucky.

Secretary of Treasury-Donald Trump-Because he doesn't trust anyone else with the money but him.

Attorney General-John Ashcroft, because he's already proved he's a real nut case, covering up all the statue's breasts. We're going to need a laugh every once in awhile.

Secretary of Agriculture-Tim McGraw--Because Trump really likes his "Down on the Farm" song.

Secretary of the Interior-Scarlett Johansson because Trump says he would really like to see her interior sometime.

Secretary of Labor-Ivanka Trump-Because Trump says she went into labor for all their kids and did it well.

Secretary of Homeland Security-Joe Mantagna-Because he seems to keep the U.S. safe every week on Criminal Minds.

Secretary of Energy-Mary Lou Retton, because she always has such energy.

Secretary of Transportation-Jay Leno, since he has such a great car collection.

Secretary of Veteran's Affairs-Chuck Norris, a real veteran.

Secretary of Education-Tony Danza, since he has so much experience.

Secretary of Health and Human Services-Richard Simmons

Secretary of Housing and Urban Affairs-Howard Stern, because I promised him something in my Cabinet.

Secretary of Commerce-Rick Harrison from Pawn Stars.

Trump says he might have to tell some of them "You're fired" until he gets the right mix.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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