Governor Pat McCrory held a news conference in Raleigh this morning to explain his support of the House bill eliminating protection for LBGT residents of his state. "We don't want them homos and queers here in our great state," said McCrory. We don't take much of a liking either for them Transponders and Cross-puzzlers!"
"Govenor," called out a journalist from the New York Times, "Do you mean transgender folks and cross dressers?"
McCrory: "Yeh, them! You one?"
Journalist" "No sir."
McCrory: "Then shut up and let me finish! We don't want them people here. Let them go back to Hahvard and them other fancy pants sissy places! We are decent hard working Americans here. If the Jews and the A-rabs and the coloreds want them in their restaurants and their motels and their Dairy Queens they can have them."
The same NYT journalist called out: "But Governor, weren't you arrested in Chapel Hill when you were a student at UNC sniffing bicycle seats outside of a gay bar?"
McCrory's face flushed a vivid red and contorted in rage as he blurted out in a voice that boarded on the hysterical: "I WAS JUST TRYING TO FIND MY ROOM MATE FOR GOD'S SAKE!"