Ted Cruz: "Call Me Tatyana"

Written by Wayne Davis

Wednesday, 1 July 2015

image for Ted Cruz: "Call Me Tatyana"
Ted's Got A Secret

Odessa Tx:Sen Ted Cruz(R)TX has a secret, and he is about to expose it in an upcoming issue of "Horse and Hound" magazine.

Cruz has been busy doing a cover shoot for the equestrian inclined mag since April. "I'm sooooo excited about this cover photo" a giddy Cruz said outside of the studio. "Finally, I can reveal my real self". Exactly what that "real self" is has some in the Republican party a bit worried. "You never know what that crack pot is going to do" said a fellow Senator " "I don't evan want to go there" said another.

Rumors have been swirling for months that the rabid anti-gay Senator and Joe McCarthy mega fan has something to hide, "This may just bring it out of the closet so to speak", said Nancy Pelosi "Honestly I can't wait". Insiders close to the shoot say that designer Vera Wang was seen being hid in the trunk of a car and driven into the Cruz camp during the dead of night. "All I know is that if I hear one more Selena song I'm going to puke" said grip operator Joe Morgan.

Cruz's magazine cover comes out in August.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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