Jeb Bush Stakes Out Middle Ground On Gay Marriage

Funny story written by Don Grapper

Wednesday, 8 July 2015

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Jeb Bush Tells Crowd That Like Most Centrist Voters in Ohio, He Favors Whatever Is In The Middle Of Two Extremes

Tampa, Florida - With his eye towards a centrist electorate in a general election race between himself and Democratic Presidential hopeful Hillary Clinton, Jeb Bush today said that "the Supreme Court's word is not final and the gay marriage debate will rage on" but that he would take a "moderate course" in addressing the issue.

"On the far left, people want gay marriage to be legal and on the far right, people want all gays to be burned at the stake," Bush told reporters outside an ice-cream parlor on a campaign stop.

"I propose that we take a moderate course, between these two extremes: that we make homosexuality a crime punishable by 6 years in Federal Prison with no possibility of parole," he said.

Bush told reporters that people with "common sense" would appreciate the diplomatic way his proposal strikes a compromise between both extremes on the issue.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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