Clinton's 1000 Bimbo Eruptions Still 19,000 Short Of Big Dipper's Ho Record

Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate

Tuesday, 19 January 2016


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BILLINGSGATE POST: Bill Clinton had affairs with "thousands of women." So said Linda Tripp in a rare interview on "Aaron Klein Investigative Radio". Tripp was a pivotal figure in the Monica Lewinsky scandal and worked in the West Wing of the White House during Clinton's presidency.

Even if this number is correct, it still puts him some 19,000 Ho's short of Wilt Chamberlain's national record of 20,000. Wilt was also remembered for one of the most legendary performances in sport's history, scoring 100 points in the Philadelphia Warriors' victory against the New York Knicks on March 2, 1962.

Chamberlain, who passed away in 1993 at age 63, said, "It's a record that I am proud of, of course. But it pales in comparison to my other record." In his 1991 biography, A View From Above, Wilt wrote that he had sex with approximately 20,000 women. "At my age," he wrote, "that equals out to having sex with 1.2 women a day, every day since I was fifteen years old."

Wilt did nothing in a small way. He stood 7-feet-1, and estimates of his love tool bordered on the ridiculous. For obvious reasons he did nothing to dispel these rumors, knowing that it was not his personality that drove women of all ages into a frenzy to test their own junk against his pride and joy. His bedroom floor was completely covered with a gigantic waterbed that could easily allow up to 20 or more Ho's to bounce around on while waiting for their turn with the Big Dipper.

Evidently, Chamberlain was not into pillow talk. Paul Arizin, who along with Chamberlain, was selected as one of the 50 Greatest Players in NBA History, were Warrior teammates. Arizin said that in their three years as teammates he never had a meaningful conversation with Chamberlain.

THE REST OF THE STORY: When Bill Clinton was told, that despite being 69 years old, he still had "a fighting chance of breaking the Big Dipper's historic record," he merely smiled.

"Ah, shucks! that's nice of yawl to say. But there is no comparing me with Wilt. He was the Big Dipper. I could barely touch the rim even with a head start. HAW! HAW!"

"My Goodness! Even if I live to be a hundred, I would have to do two Ho's a day for the next 30 years. They would be coming and going so fast that Hillary would have to get a clicker counter. Maybe that would be a good job for Huma. She's had some amazing experience with her own Weiner."


Slick Willie's advice to the lovelorn: "You be hosing and a blowsing and your mama come a nosing; just ask her if she's gonna believe her lying eyes or you. Works for me."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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