Written by Simon Saunders

Saturday, 18 July 2015

image for "Queen Not A Nazi," Says Unconvincing Palace Spokesman
God Save The Queen! Who's definitely not a Nazi.

After The Sun newspaper published footage of our beloved monarch giving what appears to be a Nazi salute, Buckingham Palace officials have been quick to deny rumours her majesty was a Nazi sympathiser or even a member of the Hitler Youth.

In the grainy footage, shot sometime in 1933, a young Princess Elizabeth, along with her mother, sister and uncle, can be seen frog marching across a manicured lawn arms raised in a Nazi style.

In a hastily arranged press conference, a stumbling palace spokesman said, "It's not a Nazi salute. Erm, it's a little known fact that, erm, the young Princess was a massive, erm, fan of Superman. He had just been created and she, erm, thought he was great. Also, just before this footage was taken she'd been wearing a Superman-esque cape which had blown off due to an unseasonal gust of wind."

Despite insisting he would not take any questions we asked some anyway.

Did the juvenile Princess ever hold membership of the Hitler Youth? "No. Her application was refus....erm, what? I seem to have gone a bit deaf."

Was Princess Margaret a fan of Superman? His hearing recovered, the spokesman said, "Yes. She was dating him at the time."

Was the Queen Mother a Nazi sympathiser? "NO! She's practising her Royal wave in the footage. She had a particularly stiff wrist that day caused by excessive waving the previous week."

The palace spokesman, sweating profusely at this point, continued. "Look, King Edward VIII might of been a bit dodgy but that doesn't mean his closest relatives were."

A fair point we thought.

We contacted Prince Philip for his take on this explosive story and he helpfully told us, "Of course Liz is a Nazi. Why else do you think I was attracted to her? I saw this footage a couple of years before I met her and thought, she's the girl for me. Now, PISS OFF!"

At this point we were ushered out of a third story window by a burly palace security guard and onto a spikey fence post, along with all the other guttersnipe journos.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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